August 25th 1996
Had a few days of uneventful chilling out and am feeling the end of summer blues. I have spent all my money, Erin has gone back to the States, there is no sign of any man in my life and it is coming up to September – clean slate, new pencil case time with nothing planned.
What to do with my life next?
I need a house , a job and a man asap.
Right, am going to be proactive today, get off my lazy arse and stroll into some letting and job agencies. The man bit will have to wait.
You know how you go out shopping for one thing and come back with something completely different. As I was on my fruitless house and job hunt this afternoon I literally stumbled into a date for tonight. This bloke, Jack, I know off my course was stood behind me at the cash machine. I walked straight into him and dropped a load of CVs all over the place. Luckily, he helped me rescue my personal details from flying through the streets of Cardiff. We got chatting and he invited me out with him tonight. I must confess to not being that interested in him, he’s not really my type but, the manhunt has to start somewhere and he is taking me to a film preview at Chapter so it seems kind of glam. And I’ve got nothing better to do and I’m bored.
Bloody hell that was an annoying night of complete wasted time. My fault for agreeing to a date just for something to do. So not cool. Am still pissed off. Initially, it all went well at Chapter, free wine, a decent film – Stealing Beauty, Jack was good company. I should have left it there but we decided to go for a few drinks afterwards. We got a bit tiddly and silly and he suggested going back to his, which was on the way to mine, for a smoke, “just as friends”, “it would be a shame to leave it here as we are having a laugh” etc, etc.
I knew it was the wrong decision, but we were having fun so I went. Bad move.
On his road, after walking for ages and slowly sobering up and realising I had made a mistake, I decided to bail and just use his phone to call a cab. But the idiot had lost his keys. I was stood in a rainy street in Canton, desperate for my bed with some bloke I wasn’t even half interested in unable to phone to get out of there. I was well pissed off at this point and was considering walking home on my own and leaving him there.
After what seemed like hours he had a light bulb moment and remembered that there was a window open in the downstairs bathroom. We went to the end of the terrace and had to climb what seemed like 30 walls/fences/bushes/until we came to the back of his house. Soaking wet from the rain and filthy from the climbing I was grateful the window was open. Not so pleased that it was the right size for a child of 7 to squeeze through. Jack was nowhere near that size which left only one option. Kindly, he gave me a leg up and I managed to twist the top half of my body through relatively painlessly but then got stuck. My upper torso was hanging over a dirty sink whilst the rest of me hung out the window in the rain with a fool trying to force my backside through the smallest window in the world. Eventually, after ages of wriggling and shoving I made it through but not without ripping a huge hole in the back of my favourite purple cords.
Fuming, I finally phoned a cab and got the hell away.
Maisie and Rhys are still laughing about it now. I CAN HEAR THEM. BASTARDS!!!
I haven’t ever been so low
I am the one, I sing the song
My lights are on but there’s nobody home
Have you ever been this low? Suede 1996